Stupid Sh** People Say

A couple days ago I got extremely mad and upset at my best friend, my only friend really. He lives far away so we converse through Facebook on a daily basis. I was pretty down, drowning in thoughts of Ayden, and I told him this. His response was fairly long but I couldn't get through the first sentence; he said something about Ayden being in a better place. That Ayden was with God and looking over me all the time. If I could have slapped him through the computer...I would have. I love my friend to death, we've been there for each other through a lot of bullshit but for the first time ever I was seriously mad at him. I hated when people said that after Ayden passed, and I still hate it almost a year later. How is being dead better? How is Ayden being anywhere but with me better? I don't really believe in God, I never have, because if there is a god up in the heavens I'd really love to know what I've done to deserve all the tragedy in my life, not just losing my child but other things as well like my father abandoning me, ALL the drama and issues with my mother over the years, my friends and family abandoning me, etc. I wish I had faith, I'd love to believe in God, I'd love to believe in anything really. This reminds me of the scene in The Bucket List when Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson are having a discussion about God in the plane, Jack Nicholson 's character doesn't believe either and Morgan Freeman does, Morgan Freeman asks "What if you're wrong?" Jack Nicholson says something like "I hope I am. If I'm wrong then...I win". That's how I feel about it, if there is a God and Heaven or an afterlife or whatever you want to call it I'll be pleasantly surprised, if not and dead is just dead then I was right and I win either way.