Vindictive

Leaving and divorcing my husband has been a process to say the least, and it's been a difficult one. I only took my clothes and toiletry items when I left, I left a lot of important things behind because I was in a rush and because it was an extremely difficult decision, one that I wasn't completely ready to make in all honesty. I left Ayden's things behind and his ashes. My ex has a necklace that contains a very small amount and we got a teddy bear for the rest, I couldn't separate them out that day as I was already upset about leaving, and I didn't feel it was right for me to just take the teddy bear. My boyfriend has been extremely helpful and wonderful about communicating with my ex to get the belongings I left behind, we were told I wouldn't be getting any of HIS son's things, a couple weeks ago we went to pick them up. True to his word, I got nothing of Ayden's. A few days later we got a call saying that a box of Ayden's things and some of his ashes were at my mother's house... we picked it up yesterday. Last night when I was going through the box of clothes, toys, blankets, etc. I found a sandwich sized Ziploc bag that contained Ayden's ashes. I got a fucking teaspoon of Ayden's ashes, there's barely anything there at all; to say I was pissed would be an understatement. I really can't believe how he's behaving, I mean I get that I hurt him, that he's mad and angry, but I don't understand how he can be this way about our child. If Ayden was still alive we'd share custody 50/50 so what makes his belongings and his ashes any different? What makes Ayden HIS son? The way i remember it, I was the one with hyperemisis gravidarum and spent the majority of my pregnancy vomiting my brains out, I was the one in labor, I had the emergency c-section, wouldn't that make him my son too? I'm so pissed off and hurt that I can't see straight.