Today is August 28th, one month from today it will be Ayden's birthday...but we have nothing to celebrate. I always count down to my birthday and holidays, starting at the one month mark. It's a habit ingrained in my personality.
All of my past countdowns have been fun. They led up to amazing birthdays, perfect Christmases, and fun vacations. This feels more like waiting for a bomb to detonate. But those action movie moments are just that, moments. I'm going to go through the better part of September wondering if I'm going to fall apart or not.
I know it does no good to worry but I do. My husband does. The last time I fell apart I had to be Baker Acted and spend days in a crisis stabilization unit. I could lose it, and it could be really bad. We have plans and hopefully doing those things and being with Tom will help keep me together. That's all we can ever do... Hope for the best
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