Monday, October 8, 2012
Blue
Yesterday I was sad and down all day, and it looks as if its bled over into today. There's no one reason for my sadness, it's a lot of little things, building up this huge wall of misery. I miss Ayden, we're having money trouble, I'm not sleeping normally, and none of things are getting any better, nothing gets easier. I physically ache without Ayden here, I miss him more than I could ever explain. Being a mom was one thing I really felt good at, Ayden gave me a purpose, and now that's gone, Ayden's gone and I got left behind. I'm heartbroken and depressed, I'm miserable without my angel and most days it feels like this will never get better. And then there's days like today when I don't want to be here, I don't want to try, I want to give up. I want to be reunited with my amazingly sweet baby boy, I want the time I didn't get. I want this nightmare to be over.
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A prayer of strength, peace and mercy for you, Meghan. Mia, our three-month-old daughter, was born in December and passed away from SIDS in March. It was, and continues to be today, the hardest thing that we have ever gone through. And there are days when we don't feel like getting out of bed much less carry on with our daily routine. On those days, I cry out to God for Him to give me the supernatural strength that only He can give. I tell my wife, the angry Christian, that when she can do nothing else, simply call His name, and He hears her wherever she is. And He comes...
ReplyDeleteI know that it's a lot easier said than done, but you have to try to stay strong. He doesn't promise that bad things won't happen. He doesn't promise that we won't go through trials and struggles and difficult times. What He does promise, however, is that He will never leave us nor forsake us during those times. I've told my wife this...when we can't breathe, He'll breathe for us. When we can't walk, He'll carry us.
I pray that He finds you where you are and carries you for awhile.
Blessings to you and your family,
Guy Wolfe