Blue

Yesterday I was sad and down all day, and it looks as if its bled over into today. There's no one reason for my sadness, it's a lot of little things, building up this huge wall of misery. I miss Ayden, we're having money trouble, I'm not sleeping normally, and none of things are getting any better, nothing gets easier. I physically ache without Ayden here, I miss him more than I could ever explain. Being a mom was one thing I really felt good at, Ayden gave me a purpose, and now that's gone, Ayden's gone and I got left behind. I'm heartbroken and depressed, I'm miserable without my angel and most days it feels like this will never get better. And then there's days like today when I don't want to be here, I don't want to try, I want to give up. I want to be reunited with my amazingly sweet baby boy, I want the time I didn't get. I want this nightmare to be over.