There are ten days left until Ayden's birthday. I still can't believe it's been a year, in some ways it seems like yesterday, I remember everything about Ayden so well. But sometimes it feels like a lifetime ago. He's been gone for so long, I've changed so much, EVERYTHING has changed so much. I can't even imagine this empty desperate longing in ten years, it's crippling at ten months.
I am constantly in awe of other angel moms further along on their journey if for no other reason than that they HAVE gotten along on their journey. It takes incredible strength and angel moms have that in spades. There are a lot of days that I want to give up, so many days where I shut down, and shut the world out. But I haven't given up yet, I'm still fighting through this hellishness everyday. I'm doing the best that I can, that's all anyone can really do. Try your best and keep fighting for what's important, for what you want, and don't give up.
*sorry about typos...written on my phone*
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