I truly believe this. I was giving into my depression, letting the tears push my laughter away, but I'm feeling stronger lately. Grief is full of laughter and tears and we need to hold onto the laughter.
Every night that Ayden was in the hospital Tom and I would spend a few hours at night at my mother's house, we left our problems at the hospital. Discussions of doctors, nurses, and endless medical terminology were pushed away. Instead we would joke about our dysfunctional family, retell our favorite funny stories, and share hilarious YouTube videos. We'd laugh until we cried, until our faces hurt, until enough of the stress was lifted for us all to get through another day. After being at the hospital for hours and hours on end, seeing Ayden connected to so many tubes and machines, dealing with DCF and the police, hearing either nothing or bad news from doctors, we NEEDED to laugh. We still do. Some days its really hard to smile let alone laugh, but I can't let this depression win, no one grieving should.
Fortunately I have found something that will make me laugh on a daily basis. Elvis Duran and the Morning Show is a radio show based out of NY and broadcast nationwide, they replaced my local morning show a few year ago and I have loved them ever since. I stopped listening for a while but now I listen to the Elvis Duran replay channel on iHeartRadio on my phone all the time. They're hilarious and it's impossible for me to not laugh listening to the show. If you have never heard it it's definitely worth checking out once. They're funny and real. I love these people that I've never met, they do the impossible for me everyday. They can make me laugh when NOTHING else can and that is both precious and priceless to me. It's OK to laugh, it's good to laugh. I need to remember to laugh more, not give into the darkness and I'm so grateful they make it possible.
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